EVERYTHING. Honestly, anything and
everything. But let’s begin on an unexpected note with something I saw the
other day.
When I can’t make it into the gym, I program
my own workouts at home consisting primarily of body weight conditioning (push-ups,
air squats, sit-ups, burpees, etc.) and kettle bell work. And it just so
happens that the square footage I map out for myself in the living room—just
between the lizard tank and the coffee table—is located directly across from a
mirror. This was unplanned in the beginning, yet I’ve done my best to use it to
my advantage to keep an eye on my form…as opposed to using it as a tool of
self-conscious judgment. Well, it was
during one of these at-home-sweat-fests that I caught a glimpse at something I
had never seen before. I was finishing
out my third round of kettle bell swings, when I glanced up at the mirror and
saw someone other than myself. Sacrificing my time, I landed the kettle bell to
get another look at this stranger sneaking a peek at my workout. But as soon as
my brain caught up with my eyes, I had the most ridiculous moment thinking, "DAAAAAAAMN!!! Check out those legs! HOLY CRAP...that's me!”
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| BAD ASS FACE! |
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| Check them gams! |
I’ve spent so much time worrying over those places that “still aren’t
perfect;” my “trouble spots” that frustrate me like no other and often sabotage
the proof of all of my hard work. But this was the first time I ever looked at
the WHOLE me and saw the significant changes that I’ve made, the progress
that’s happening, and this newer body that I should be proud of!
It must have been that spot in the living
room, that time of day and the light streaming in, the positioning of the mirror:
who knows and who cares! The light created a particular shadow, outlining
muscle. Showing off proof that I’ve worked hard to get stronger and leaner. Huffing and puffing from that last set of
kettle bell swings, I smiled. Stupidly overwhelmed by pride. Beauty.
Security. All of this work is meaningful. All of this work is worthwhile. And
ANYONE can do it.
It’s this moment, mixed with the ROLLER COASTER that has been
my life for the past few months, that has opened my eyes to the future: helping other people do the same thing (get stronger, healthier, happier) is my calling.
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| The next phase: teaching and training. |
I’m not going to bore you with the nauseating
details of my life since my last entry—I apologize for being M.I.A., but I kid
you not: everything that could happen…did happen. BUT, I am a firm believer
of moving forward and growing stronger. Quick recap of the highlights:
An amazing experience performing in the
musical Hair (which meant kicking it hard to lose several more pounds and tone
up for the famous nude scene. OH SNAP!) Being cast in two more shows to do
exactly what I love doing and feel great doing it. Celebrating birthdays,
anniversaries, sad days, happy days, lost days and new beginnings. Knowing that I am love and supported, through the good and the bad. Working
myself to the bone at a non-profit job that fulfilled all of those dream
prerequisites I had made for my career yet caused me to lose sleep, worry all
the time and become basically a crappy kind of person. LEAVING said job in a
moment of triumph and terror. And it was these pivotal moments in time that
lead me to my current state of positivity and purposefulness.
Once I rid myself of the confines of what I
always “thought I was supposed to do” in a job I “thought I was supposed to
have,” the world opened up to me. Opportunities came knocking on my door. Time
opened up and I immediately became happier. Now I wake up thinking of the
possibilities that are available, as opposed to the walls I once ran into over and
over again.
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| Oh hey, Sammy Jean. |
And with the help my of my new side-kick Sammy Jean, I'm now ready to say, "Let’s do this."
What does this mean? Well! It means that This
Primal Yogi is ready to get moving. I’m going to look into becoming a more
targeted trainer. I’m going to teach the classes I WANT TO TEACH. I going to
take this life by the horns and make it what it should be. Doing what I’m good
at and enjoying what I do. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
HOLY SMOKES THAT FEELS GOOD!!
So the next step from here? Talking to
students, studios, gyms and creating my own programing and my own practice.
Getting myself back in the gym and feeling good. And looking forward to the
life I’m building at home and the future. Life is good, if you can be strong
and work through the tough stuff…because there is so much out there that is
worth sticking it through. Quitting is
for ninnies…and I’m not into that.
Grr…urg…LOVE,
This Primal Yogi
PS. OH YEAH!! I also did this bangarang Mud Run and I’m officially
addicted. These people are amazing, and I’m so happy to call them my trainers,
students and of course, my friends. |
| The super muddy CrossFit Mt. Laurel Team |
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| Crawling under barbed wire...in mud. |
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| Giant tarp-slide...landing in mud. |
