Get me your "Before & After"

Let me begin by saying, I'm not one to look back.
It's in my Sagittarian nature, as well as my yogi-code, to live "in the moment" and without regret as much as I can. There were times...years even...where I let myself fall into the woe of not-letting-go, and I just didn't jive with it. I'm going to be me, NOW, and live each moment as my lil' heart tells me to live it.

Which is why--when earlier this week Strapping-Young-Trainer-Tommy yelled over, "Rrrrrach! Send me your before & after"--I may have panicked.

"I'm pretty sure I've burned all those old photos..." 
Yes, I'm quick to the joke, but really I had no idea if I even had photos of myself from before. Pictures get taken and I leave them behind. I leave the thought of who I was in the moment...well, IN that moment. And when you get down to the nitty-gritty of it...there are a lot of previous "Me's" that I don't want to see. I know each of them...and there is that teeny, tiny, doubtful voice in the back of my mind that says,

"Don't look back. What if you really haven't come that far?"

"I really don't think I've changed though..."

I can admit now that I greatly appreciated his reaction: a scoff of disbelief and a punch in the arm.  Even Awesome-Idol-Trainer-Dana gave me a squeeze and a "You're so skinny!" But let me tell you, stepping up to the plate of my laptop the next day to sort through photos was a challenge I hadn't expected.  I started out with blinders on, just looking for something from RIGHT before I started at the gym. Photos from February 2012, during the run of RENT I was in. I stared those images down as if I could burn a hole through the screen, Superman-style. I was not a happy girl then. It was a tumultuous time in my life and just about EVERYTHING was in upheaval. I reflected that physically.

And I accept that now...because I've taken control.

SO: I rolled up my sleeves and said, "Rachel...let's do this."

I went  back 6 years.

In 6 years, I have been so many people. So many sizes. So many degrees of happy, sad, tired, alive, loved, left...

But this is the first time in 6 years, I feel completely in control and on the right path--with my body, diet, and all around wellness. And it is because of that, that I'm going to share with you the journey I have been on; photos that I haven't even been willing to look at my self for years!

If I'm going to act like my opinion matters...I should show you why I think it does.

Because I'm happy. Because I HAVE come a long way.

And dammit...because I look good.

Layin' it all out there.

I can only hope that whether it's our bodies, our states-of-mind, our careers, that one day we all can take the time (obviously, coming from a SUPER positive place) and reflect on where we've been...and where we're going.

Until next time, Cave-Kids.

Grr...urg...LOVE,

This Primal Yogi