Skinny Jeans and Squat Cleans

*We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a moment of success*

(A note to the faint of heart: this entry is literally me describing putting on a pair pants.)

So I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday again.

That just lets you know how the day started. I over slept, and woke up twisted like a pretzel so that my arm felt like tingly-jelly as I brushed my teeth. There was no food for breakfast or for me to throw together a lunch, and I forgot again that the lizard needed crickets.

It was a morning.
And then, as I hunted through my drawers and the clean laundry, I came to the distressing realization that: I had no pants. Seriously, NO PANTS. Every shirt I have ever owned—let alone worn in the past week—was clean and ready to go, but all leg coverings had somehow remained in the laundry bins stowed away in the basement. I scurried around the house in a pants-less frenzy as the cats watched me in their nonchalant manner, surely thinking to themselves, “Rachel, dear: pants are for peasants.”

I knew of only one pair of jeans, stowed away. And I knew they didn’t fit. And I knew that the last time I tried to put them on…I’m pretty sure they laughed at me. The gray-skinny-distressed-jeans looked up at me as I tried to yank one side to the other, willing the zipper skyward…and they laughed at me.

And then maybe I cried.

But in this morning’s mood, I said screw it, this’ll be a great trip down Self-Deprecating Road and I’ll have one more reason to be QUEEN OF THE GRUMPS today. As I slipped the left leg in, I had a flashback to where the jeans started to get too snug last time. I held my breath and couldn’t look down. Somehow, however, the jeans kept sliding. I accepted the fact that I now had to introduce the right leg to said Smug Jeans, and I believe I audibly harrumphed, “yeah…that’s not happening.”

Yet, I pointed my toes and went in. Sheepishly, I pulled those bad boys up to the “danger zone,” also known as my monstrous thighs. (*NOTE: I love my big mamma jamma thighs, because my quads/hammies are the only muscle groups in my body that have always been strong and awesome and ginormous.*) This would usually be the point where I have to do a little dance to shimmy the jeans up an inch at a time until falling over in despair and later crying into some buffalo wings. But with a surprising pull, Not-So-Smug Jeans hiked up over my (not too shabby) caboose.

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

I swear, Siddha, (the most apathetic of the three cats) started a slow clap for me.

I almost didn’t want to take that last step and wrangle the button. At that moment, I knew good and well that once I slid that button in and model-stomped-Tyra-style in front of the mirror, I would have to admit it myself that the hard work is paying off. And once you admit that…you have to keep doing it.

My future of awesomeness was held for just a moment in the button clasp of my jeans.

Did I back down? Did I let the fear of having to be accountable for my results/health/wellness/waistline make me quickly escape those jeans and dig out some dirty guachos?

Do I look like a girl who will waste a nice ass day?!

Look out world, me and these jeans are coming for your squat cleans!

(Okay, really I’ll be in spandex.)

Thank you for getting dressed with me.

*We will now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.*

Grr...urg...LOVE,

This Primal Yogi

*NEXT ON THE BLOG*

They Say It's Your Birthday (for real this time!)

A Yogi in the Box

As you might have guessed, a yogi in the box usually gets a lot of guff. Now I must admit, upon first glance, not everyone sees a yoga teacher when they see me. Nor do they hear one when I let out a cackle or some other fine form of the English language.

You tell someone you’re a yogi and they are expecting this guy:

Buddha, not to be confused with Rachel

But in reality folks, you’re getting this:

Rachel, not to be confused with your ordinary Yogi

Then once that reality sets in, the tidal wave of “buts” spills on over.

“But CrossFit is so aggressive.”

“But the yelling-weight-throwing drill sergeants are there.”

“But yoga can’t fit in that atmosphere.”

WHOOOOOAAAA!! Hold on just one second there, Caveman.  #1. Yoga belongs EVERYWHERE. #2. Yoga ESPECIALLY belongs there.  When you get down to the bare bones of what Yoga truly is, the practice comes with you, no matter where you are. So if you’re in Tree Pose (Vrksasana) in a crowded airport, or Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana) in a silent grove: as long as the yoga is doing you right—your location doesn't matter.

“The word Yoga comes from the Sanskrit word "Yuj" meaning to yoke, join or unite. This implies joining or integrating all aspects of the individual - body with mind and mind with soul - to achieve a happy, balanced and useful life, and spiritually, uniting the individual with the supreme.” ~ Iyengar-yoga.com 

When you’re in the gym, what else are you doing but "integrating all aspects of the individual" (mind-body-strength-attention-focus-determination-breath-gusto-awesomeness) and becoming your supreme self? That's why we workout, right?! That's why we do yoga and tai chi and lift weights and run and read and sing, etc., etc., etc. What I want us to do...is make sure that we're doing ALL of this. 

That's my yoga.

“By practicing the step-by-step methods of Yoga taking nothing for granted on emotional grounds or through blind faith we come to know our oneness with the Infinite Intelligence, Power, and Joy which gives life to all and which is the essence of our own Self.” ~ Yogananda-srf.org

BOOM. Blow your mind with that brilliant-yoga-goodness.

Thus, when I am in the gym—yelling, hooting, hollering, and yes…dropping those weights when they are just too damn heavy—I am still in my yoga zone. It’s about the balance of ME. However, in order to stay yogic in my WOD lifestyle, it’s important that I make sure to regularly get back to that “old school” yoga. Not just for my zen, but for my body. Lifting weights can invite an awful fiasco on your joints, ligaments and bones! Even with perfect form, if you’re not taking time out to give your body that sensual yoga lovin’…you’re setting yourself up for a world of pain and, most likely, a shorter career in the gym.

When you're in class with This Primal Yogi, you'll find ways to connect with that inner-yogi that doesn't necessarily involve traditional meditation (since I know that scares you!), because movement, breath, intensity, tranquility: they are all a part of the process; the practice; the class.

I was recently talking with a dear friend and AMAZING Body and Chi Realignment Therapist (Similar to your "Total Body Reactivation" and/or kinesiology), Keith Segal, (Seriously, go make an appointment with him) and this topic came up beause he came from the gym world before entering into his holistic lifestyle. We're both just itching for people to take the step out on to that tight-rope and walk it with us. A Balanced Life.

 I think my final thought to him came out something like this:

"It's always the "silence" that scares them. But it's not sitting in silence that makes you a yogi; it's finding the stillness in what you already do that gets you there."

DAMN, THAT'S DEEP!

Our  2012 "Yoga on the Steps" team in honor of Bea. Get ready everyone: I'm recruiting YOU this year!
(Including Rachel's partner-in-crime over at Pretty-Sick.com, Jaclyn!)

So Seriously: Just try a class...any class. Find a teacher you jive with. Find a style you like. Get balanced. I mean it!

Grr...urg...LOVE,

This Primal Yogi

*NEXT ON THE BLOG*

They Say It's Your Birthday

Thanksgiving Dinner: Who Invited the Paleo Chick?

You know what's the BEST time to start a new bad-ass-eating-life-journey?  The Holidays.

*Cricket noises*

Now by “best,” I mean, “What is wrong with me?”

Not to worry my dear sweet Cave-Kids, I wouldn’t be reporting to you on the subject if I didn’t think it possible. In fact, I am here to say, “YES WE CAN!” And in fact, I did. Operation: Paleo Option Thanksgiving was a rousing success by all of those who participated. So what if I was the only one who did...

I attended Thanksgiving dinner at the in-laws and left it in the hands of the Fates that I would be able to fashion my own diet-appropriate meal as my loved ones dined on scalloped potatoes, corn bread stuffing, biscuits and (my old-favorite) green bean casserole. You know the kind I’m talking about…that gloppy goodness that involved a can of mushroom soup and fried onions on top? Sigh. I was determined that I could eat and be happy without having to make the family-chefs go out of their way to prepare Paleo-foods for me.

The Hubs couldn’t be stopped from bringing along a crock-pot full of homemade stuffing, but we were also sure to come armed with my favorite: Brussels sprouts roasted with bacon. Thus--no matter what--I was safe.

Roasted Brussels sprouts with Bacon

1 pound fresh Brussels sprouts, quartered

4-6 strips bacon, thick cut

Salt & Pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Quickly blanch your sprouts to brighten their color and boost the flavor-soaking powers.

Cook bacon in a large skillet over medium-high heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and set aside, retaining bacon fat from cooking.  In a bowl, toss quartered Brussels sprouts with remaining bacon fat (nom, nom, nom). We collect our rendered baking fat, or lard, so if you do the same you can add more as needed, or drop a slab of butter in the pan after snatching out the bacon. Chop bacon and add to mixture. On a foil lined baking sheet, scatter Brussels sprouts and bacon. Pop those bad boys in the oven for about 30 minutes. Magnifique!

Thankfully once we arrived, I was pleasantly overwhelmed by the scent of Paleo-friendly options! My meal consisted of smoked turkey, sprouts (of course), roasted broccoli and red peppers, a homemade cranberry-apple sauce and a nice selection off of the Hors d'Oeuvres tray.

LEMON BARS!

So aside from the three glasses of champagne (whoops!), my Thanksgiving fell well within my needs. My sweet darling mother even brought along a dessert just for me: a BANG-A-RANG Lemon Bar recipe from Civilized Cavemen Cooking. It was just scrum-dilli-umptious and refreshing, with an almond macadamia nut crust. I’m happy to say, the left overs came home with us.

Finally, I don’t want you to be glum that you have to “miss out” on the Turkey-Leftover-Sandwiches because where there’s a will, there’s a way to use those day-after goodies. Shred the turkey for taco salad, meatloaf or PALEO-casserole. Breakfast is where you’ll find I use EVERYTHING we brought home. Not even the antipasto will go to waste!

Antipasto Leftovers + 3 Eggs = 

BOOM: SCRAMBLE!

We can do it, Cave-kids. I promise. Stick with me.

 December, here we come!

Grr…urg…LOVE,

This Primal Yogi

*NEXT ON THE BLOG*

A Yogi in the Box

Primal Yogi Public Service Announcement

Tonight you may be back visiting family, hitting up your townie-bar and catching up with those high school chums you ONLY see on Thanksgiving Eve...(and you want to keep it that way)...

Just checking in to say: Please drink responsibly, take care of yourself and prepare a safe ride home. 'Cause tomorrow, we're going PRIMAL on that Turkey!

Grr...urg...LOVE,

This Primal Yogi.

*NEXT UP ON THE BLOG*
Thanksgiving Dinner: Who Invited the Paleo Chick?

Grr…urg...Me, Primal Yogi…You, Jane…

Well here it is everyone. The place where my tales of determination, success, failure, fun, adrenaline-induced inspiration, wine-induced hilarity and that ever-so-special touch of crazy that you know I have in me just waiting to spill out…will live in infamy. You may have read (and please, continue reading!) my entries on the Pretty-Sick Blog: Sick Never Looked So Good, but this space will have a slightly different feel to it. That does not mean that you can’t be a supporter of BOTH blogs or the experiences you get while reading each.

Fact about me: I encourage you to dabble.

(This is me on Paleo, right?)

This place however, will be a journey we take together. When it comes to the dietary advice that you get on this blog, it will be primarily Paleo-influenced with a handful of “set-backs” and “experiments” here and there. Hey, I’m only human. 

(Payh-lee-o): The Paleo Diet is based upon eating wholesome, contemporary foods from the food groups our hunter-gatherer ancestors would have thrived on during the Paleolithic era, the time period from about 2.6 million years ago to the beginning of the agricultural revolution, about 10,000 years ago. These foods include fresh meats (preferably grass-produced or free-ranging beef, pork, lamb, poultry, and game meat, if you can get it), fish, seafood, fresh fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, and healthful oils (olive, coconut, avocado, macadamia, walnut and flaxseed). Dairy products, cereal grains, legumes, refined sugars and processed foods were not part of our ancestral menu. - Dr. Loren Cordain 

If you’re coming from Pretty-Sick.com to learn more about this dietary lifestyle, WELCOME MY FRIENDS! We at Pretty-Sick, LLC firmly believe that there is no singular way of eating that will fit us all, so be sure to also check out some of the amazing information that my partner in crime, Jaclyn Dixon, has to say on the subject.

When it comes to exercise, here you will be privy to the short, but high-intensity CrossFit workouts that will one day have me on par with this gal:

CrossFit Star: Christmas Abbott
(Internal Monologue: "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...")

As well as the yoga programming that I am personally creating for the CrossFit/Olympic Lifting community, in hopes to one day bring them all over to my dark side! Mwahaha…

To find yoga sequences and suggestions for those rehabbing an injury or with particular health specifications (my Pretties who may be diagnosed with cancer, MS, HIV or a chronic condition that requires a little more tinkering to get you to your sweet spot), PLEASE hop over to the Pretty-Sick Website and read more on the Pretty-Sick Blog!

But most importantly (well, in my opinion at least) what you’ll find here is a place to start some conversation. I want to BRIDGE THE GAPS in a lot of areas, and I can’t do that without your help. So let’s talk about getting some yoga in your CrossFit, let’s discuss the benefits of cleaning out your fridge in order to clean out your mind, let’s throw back and forth some ideas for getting out of the daily grind and getting into some adventure, and PLEASE: lets swap our favorite cocktail recipes so that we can take a Friday night off and get a little wild. 

(WARNING: Always “wild” responsibly!)

This goes out to my Janes, my Tarzans, my Groks, my CrossFitters, my yogis, my singers, my dancers, my teachers, my sitters-who-are-soon-to-be-doers, my friends.

Grrr…urg….LOVE,

This Primal Yogi.